We are all being recruited all the time. Walk through the airport and you’ll be recruited for credit cards. Visit church with a friend you’ll be recruited to come back. Walk through the mall and Auntie Ann’s will recruit you to have a pretzel sample.
As human beings it is in our nature to recruit. We are not solitary human beings…which is why everyone is born with a natural ability to sale. So stop for a moment and think about who is recruiting you. I constantly see individuals who don’t show up, want to quit, and don’t ask for help find it easier to recruit other people into believing that a program isn’t working or they will not succeed or “it’s not your fault…. it’s the coach, the program, the people, the style”. Misery loves company.
And I get it. When you aren’t getting the results you want you would rather it be someone else’s fault. You would rather it be something outside of yourself than your inaction or own cycle of quitting. We want to feel like we are a part of something bigger. So, when you have that spouse, friend, colleague sharing with you WHY something is not working for you or will not work for you….
Ask these questions:
1) Is this individual taking 100% responsibility for themselves.
2) Am I taking 100% responsibility for myself?
3) If quitting were not an option what would my next step be?
4) How does this gossip help me?
5) How can I support this person–people in deep pain recruit others to fail or quit with them.
And then ask where is this person in the cycle of quitting?
We are always being recruited…. and it can be fun–pretzel samples are nice, but it can also be “support” disguised as intellectual bullying when someone tries to stop your experience or qualify why it will not work for you. Just ask yourself the questions above, pause, breathe, and reach for support and perspective. As my good friend, Matthew Goldfarb, says all the time–”It’s ok to fit in, but it’s better to stand out.”
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